Sex Without the Thin Veil of Hostility January 1, 2019 – Posted in: Sexual Well-Being – Tags: Find The Sex You Want, Sexual Well-Being
In a discussion about navigating the challenges of finding sexual satisfaction through the popular hook-up mobile apps, a friend poignantly asked whether I thought it was possible to have no-strings-attached casual sex, which does not come a thin veil of hostility? They believed that the person involved always ends up feeling angry towards the individual.
Even though they may have started the hunt for sex with a particular type of guy, with certain activities in mind, after what seems a like never ending line of disappointments, you are what he has ended up with, his last choice, not quite the guy he was looking for, offering not quite the activity he was after. My friend described how the partner could show up with a toxic mix of horniness and frustration because he had not gotten his first choice, making the sex disconnected and not particularly fun.
I told him, the trick to using hook-up apps that has worked for me is that I NEVER use the apps when I am actually horny and in need of immediate satisfaction. Instead, I use it as a scouting tool for guys I think there is potential with for sexual compatibility. I engage with them away from the context of an immediate hook-up.
By establishing a rapport and being open about what activities I would find engaging, it opens the door to call on each other when the mood actually strikes. If both are available and willing, all flows and there is no thin veil of hostility.
A new strategy to consider for the New Year.
Happy New Year