Gay Guys: You Douching All Wrong – A Rebuttal October 27, 2017 – Posted in: How To Bottom Well – Tags: How To Bottom Well, Sexual Well-Being
Gay Guys: You are douching all wrong – A rebuttal
Earlier on in the Summer, there was an article in Vice Magazine which argued that there is a misconception that a bottom guy needed to douche before anal sex. The experts which consulted to produce this article state that based on certain medical facts, douching was unnecessary to engage in regular anal sex. You can read the full article here.
It is great hearing expert medical opinion on the subject, I however felt that those who have anal sex at the heart of their active sex life would beg to differ. When they take into consideration the broader realities associated with anal sex, where a deep sense of confidence in one’s cleanliness is required.
Tightness does not equal fun for a beginner
For the receptive partner, anal sex can at times be an anxiety ridden exercise. Although he may be very much eager to be fucked, he might find himself too tight, unable to relax and the whole thing is a painful exercise.
Often, one of the reasons why a guy cannot relax is because he is anxious that faecal matter will make its way down his intestinal system during sex, therefore leading to a mess. He is tense about this, focused on not letting anything come down. He clenches and creates a tight environment for the entering penis. This causes undue friction and eventually the whole process becomes uncomfortable and painful.
However, if he feels CONFIDENT that he is Completely CLEAN, that his bowels are empty and that NOTHING can come down, it is a pleasurable experience.
A mess is a mood killer
Any top worth his salt knows that anal sex at times can get messy, it comes with the territory. A good top accepts this and does not make an issue when there is ‘an accident’ of brown stains or a whiff of smell. For the bottom however, this can be extremely embarrassing. So most are meticulous about getting themselves clean before sex and during sex they are constantly asking, checking to see if everything is clean. They are not able to fully relax, as when there is a mess it kills the mood. There is often profuse apologies as both take a break and scramble to clean up.
The horny sex mood is broken and after the clean up, it takes a little while to regain momentum. Once you have it again, it can be quickly broken again, if there is another mess.
Thus being CLEAN and feeling Confidently CLEAN is at the heart of gay sex. So, the efforts to ensure that everything is clean before the act are crucial.
The Vice article states that standard regular sex does not require one to douche. However, what the experts don’t take into account is that gay men often enjoy long sessions of anal intercourse that may stretch over many hours. In those circumstances, it is vital that the receptive partner’s lower bowels are completely empty before play begins in order to avoid mess that may come over time, as natural movements of the bowels occur.
Thus being confident that you are empty and clean is essential.
Assplay, fisting & big toys
The Vice article states that the average penis does not go far enough into one’s lower bowels to disturb any faecal matter. Once again, those experts are not taking into consideration that some gay men engage in more intense penetration with fisting and big toys, where penetration does indeed go far deeper.
Once again, being confidently clean far into the bowels is a requirement.
The Vice article is a good one from a medical perspective however, I feel it really does not touch on the actual realities that are associated with anal sex that requires a bottom to feel confident that he is clean.
The CLEAN Confidence Range from ConfidentU, is very much aware of this and looks to cater to the actual needs that gay men have for sex, when it comes to cleanliness. Whilst doing so in a way that focuses as much as possible on overall well-being.
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Image: Doug Birkenheuer